BLARGLE.
I have no idea what that shit up there means, but this was amazing. Like, ZING. AMA FUCKIN ZING. Why havent I read this before?! ARRGGG. (imma pirate :P) You wrote so good... -takes off hat in respect- I shall rate this story.
p.s. - It's fine as a one-shot. If you got more ideas add if you please.