(#) wolff 2006-03-03
Somebody else rated this story as a "train wreck", and I have to admit that I agree with them. You have pretty much everyone Harry knows turning on him, for no identifiable reason. I can see Ron turning on Harry because of monetary greed, but I don't think Hermione would do that. Plus, why has Dumbledore completely turned on Harry? You have given no explanations or rationalizations for these actions, nor have you given any hints that you'll resolve this gross OOCness in a later chapter. My best advice to you is to sit back, look at what you've written, and then slow down. Give us some (at least semi-)logical reasons before you let the crap hit the fan, and all be blown back at Harry. After all, the poor guy's been the universe's bitch for fifteen years, he at least deserves the decency to know why he's now stading there, smelling of manure.