I think this could get really good. There are just a few things you have to think about.
Always use a Capital letter in the start of a scentance or a name. Try not to change... tense? Is that the word? Tempus? Anyway. Jump down a line when someone is about to speak, and maybe you could be clearer to show when Frank is writing and when he's not. You can like make his writing in italics?
I'd like to read the rest of the story. ^^
Author's response
thank you so much for that ive noticed that too the idea of the stars is to seperate the past from the present and the present from his notebook. im narrating it for the present and making it franks pov when its the notebook or a flashback. ill work on making it more obvious for sure :)