Oh,a story with my language in it! (yeah I'm French :3)
This was awesome,very original and well written.
But you made spelling mistakes in the french parts (not the accent grave,this was okay) like,you don't say "sucre" for sugar in French,you say "chéri",it's more like sweetheart but there isn't really a translation.Sometimes you switched the place of the words (if that makes sense) for example you don't say "garçon bon","bon" comes first,in fact the adjective often comes first.But I know my language is hard to learn for people who speak an other language,sometimes even I make mistakes x)
Anyway,your oneshot was amazing.