To borrow Genericrandom5's description, "A disturbingly awesome story", I really thought you packed a lot of plot in short amount of verbiage. I disagree that it needs "more". One reviewer mentioned, to paraphrase, the wholesale slaughter and without Voldie's help, well wake up and smell an original plot for a change. Even in canon (praise be to the almighty JKR up until Book 6) it was the Deeters doing most of the killing.