FicWad

First let me say, I appreciate your honesty. Secondly, I'm not at all offended by anything you said and thank you for wishing me luck with what it is I want to do. I do want to explain some things so we're on the same page and you don't get the wrong idea.

I personally don't see anything wrong with wanting to write fanfiction and also wanting to be a published writer. Being an author for a living has always been what I've wanted. I've never made a secret of that, nor would I ever apologize for it. It's who I am and it's in my blood as it always has been. I just love to write. To write as a career has always been my ultimate goal - once I feel I'm ready. Fanfiction gave me a home and a voice where I could experiment and grow as a writer. I would never knock that. I'm grateful for what this place has given me and for all of the people I've gotten to discuss stories with and get to know as friends. In a million years, I would never "spit on" that. It's because of writing here for so long that I've been able to really explore who I am as a writer and learn what I like in my writing and what I don't. That's not using the fandom, it's growing as a writer.

Let me also say, I'm not angry and I'm not sure how this is all reading. A lot of times, in person-to-person messaging, text can be written one way and read another. There's no real inflection on anything so a sentence can be taken different ways. I just can't bring myself to put smiley faces after each paragraph. lol But I wanted to be very clear so there is no mistaking anything: I'm just explaining where I'm coming from so you'll understand.

Anyway, back to the basics. As far as the sex in my stories, did I like writing it at the time? Abso-freakin-lutely! lol Obviously I did, or it never would have been in there. But did every single chapter need to have it? No. Does that mean I don't enjoy other people's stories who do have sex in every single chapter? No. lol I enjoy it very much. But it's not who I am as a writer anymore. I want my stories to speak for themselves and I feel like I had so much explicit sex that the story got lost inside it at times. And that doesn't sit right with me when I look at my own work. It's a personal preference that I make in regards to my own work, not a knock at anyone else. I'm 35, I've moved back and forth across the country, known some amazing and some terrible people and my world has completely changed since I wrote here last. I'm not the same person and I'm not the same writer. I want to focus more on the darkness of stories and characters. Like I said, there will probably still be sex, just not as much as there used to be. It's not a jab at anyone, just my own preference for me and where I'm at in my life and my writing.

When it comes to my characters not being My Chem-related, I've said that upfront from the beginning. Yes, true to fanfiction I've used their names and faces, but with no reflection on the true character of the real people themselves. A lot of people, not all, write fanfic characters close to the vest of what they believe to be the nature of the real people, or how they want them to be in their minds. My characters have always been the farthest thing I could imagine from who I think the guys might be. At least I hope so. lol My characters were thought up a long time before I found fanfiction and I inserted them onto names and faces, not the other way around. I think it's awesome to have a place where I can tell my stories through an outlet where we're all seeing the same faces on characters and can talk about chapters together, while sharing an admiration for a band we all love. That's Aces to me! And I also get feedback as to how I'm doing; what works and what doesn't. The final say is always mine, but it's nice to understand how things are received. It gives me a better grasp on how stories read. Like I said, sometimes things don't write and read the same way to different people. Sorry, tangent. What I'm saying is, my dark characters were around before the band started. I wrote here because I love the band and the creativity people had here in showing their adoration for music and writing by combining the two. I wholeheartedly agree with 50 Shades of Grey being sub par and I don't get the draw at all. To be fair, I've only read a couple lines here and there, not the whole book but I don't think that matters for what we're talking about. What she did was write a story based on another author's characters so she could make money off it. I have no respect for that at all. When fanfiction writers write about another author's characters, it's to pay tribute to the original author for creating characters the person admires. They make no profit off it and they pay homage to the original creator. All in fun. I always wrote my fanfiction based on my original characters and used real people's names and faces so my case is a little different. I'm the creator of my own characters and they have nothing to do with the names or faces. Not a Sound is the only exception because it was the first one I wrote and I didn't quite grasp how far out with characters I could reach so I kept them in a band, etc. But I learned quickly and I found what I liked and what I didn't. But even then, the characters were already in my head before I found fanfiction. I just adapted things. I don't think it's disrespectful in the slightest for me to take own characters and change their names to sell a story that's entirely mine. I find that very fair.

I'm trying to figure out where you're coming from when you wonder why I posted them at all, because I want to understand. Were the characters mine before fanfiction? Yes. Do my characters stand alone without the band's names and faces? Yes. I'm not apologetic for those things. That's how it happened and I'm very comfortable with it. My stories were adapted FOR the fandom. It was my way of combining my own dark stories with a fandom that I love. Did I want to get readers? Yes, of course. To be able to share a love of this band and of writing with other people who like the same things AND get feedback is incredible. I can write what I want, enjoy this band, meet others with common interests AND grow as a writer? Yes, sign me up! lol These are the reasons I came here and I don't find anything wrong with that. I'm not sure if I'm not understanding what you're saying or if you understand where I'm coming from but just don't agree. If it's the former, please let me know. If it's the latter, then I hope I cleared things up. If you understood this all along already, then I'm sorry to say we'll have to agree to disagree. I do appreciate your honesty and that you shared it with me.

If I can't be taken seriously because of all these things then I'm disappointed people may not understand, but I can live with it. I can't please everyone and I understand that. I just want you to know where I'm coming from so you're not still under the impression that I hate the world of fanfiction or look down on those who write it. I want to be very clear that this is where I started and I'm grateful for it. I tried to make that clear in my original post. I've grown because of this fandom and I'm appreciative of that too. It's helped me immensely and I feel like I've given back in return for that. At least I hope so.

Sorry for the long response. I'm in transition right now moving back East and have no internet so when I can get on, I'm in it for the long haul. lol Feel free to respond, although it may be a while before I can get back to you. Please just be patient and I'll get it and respond as soon as I can. Thank you again for being honest with me and I hope you appreciate my honesty as well. I understand you're angry but I hope I cleared some things up. As for whether you can respect me or not, that's entirely up to you. I will say good luck with teaching and writing! I taught children, not college, but I know how hard, as well as rewarding, it can be. The same goes for writing! Thanks again, Harley