Your description of Raze's change from Marie's perspective could be a lot better with just a little work. We already know that a lycan change involves the jaw jutting and the rib cage, so you don't need to list those things.
This is an opportunity to tell us a little more about Marie. Since the scene is from her point of view, does Raze's ribcage "crunch like a tin can," or "burst outward as bones exapanded and blood vessels realigned." Think about it as if Marie were describing Raze to the reader. Does she think in terms of elegant things or common things? Does Raze have a jaw, a snout or a muzzle? What's Marie's voice? She's educated, but she says things like "that hurt like a bitch," so she'd probably go a little on the lowbrow side.
Heh heh heh! "Lycan" indeed. I just love Singe.