Fuck it. I'm from Texas (yee-haw, motherfuckers) but I'll still support beavers.
When I run for president, I can be from the Beaver Party.
Ooh, I can legalize beaver marriage.
AND beavers can smoke marijuana if they want too.
And they also get health benefits and welfare.
Yeeeeeaaaah.
Author's response
NYC
YO
I'LL BE YOUR VICE PRESIDENT
WE'LL BAN ONE DIRECTION
AND SAY IT'S UNCONSTITUTIONALITY