Review for Serena's Savior

Serena's Savior

(#) elizedward23 2006-11-10

Your first chapter was pretty good, but the return in the second chapter wasn't that exciting. I think you need a stronger plot. I mean, she goes there with all those strange creatures but then she's looking at the ground, then she has to leave. I get the feeling that more exciting parts are coming up but the reader needs to be enticed to keep reading.