I'm going on military style ( HA!) and giving 10 uniformed reasons why I love you, your writing and you adorable baby elephant, congratulations BTW. ("o)
1."A couple of people working behind the counter looked up at her, a mixture of sympathy and curiosity on their faces. They knew what happened to her... anyone with access the internet, television, or a newspaper knew what happened to her. She had become "the mysterious actress that was abducted", and (needless to say) it bothered her. " A short but powerful paragraph that just reminds the readers the extent to which this event has impacted.
2.IN the notebook this part about Pete "but I'm sure he's overanalyzed and warped it so many times in his brain that he's not even able to comprehend our situation and find any reasoning. that's the pete I could never want. " This was a brilliant line. I can't really say more.
3.Also in the notebook "but this isn't a sonnet, and I'm not the romantic i once was..." I feel sad for her y'know? Nothing more mortal than having Romance robbed from you.
4. The phone conversation between Elise and Belle, I love that thoughts you wrote between the dialogue, really capturing hoe Elise in particular felt about this.
5. One of favourite lines ""You don't want to have to cover up the reason why I look like a dead beat crack whore, do you?" There she goes again showing that gritty raw strength of hers.
6./"I knew that my anxiety about her leaving had something to do with the reason why I found myself dissociated in this particular tryst."/ JUST AWESOME - D O DOUBLE J BABY
7./"Wait, are you two having sex? Like, is there penetration going on right n-" Before he could finish the sentence I flung a pillow at him./ Joseph is the cutest retard in the planet. I love him.
8./All of this was fairly new to Belle, but she had to admit to herself that the "girlie" aspect of being a female wasn't so harsh. She enjoyed herself for the most part./ I'm glas you wrote this, I guess this is all part of therapy for Belle. She needs to find the inner woman and stop opressing it. She's an incredible woman too.
9. When Belle jumps from feeling the cold on her shoulder, harsh reminder of what she's been through I guess or did I pick this up wrong?
10. I agree with CeCe, angry Pete. Grrr. You have me totally intrigued with what you're going to do between them both. There's so much potential because there is an obvious chemistry and humans need more than that, they bot have huge flaws too. I'm bewildered and I like it.
sighs I love you, I waited forever for this. xxxx
~K
DoJ smooch and clink of my glass for you
Author's response
okay, you fucking rock. it’s official. “end of.”
and because I’m casually obsessed with lists, i’m going to respond to this in such a way.
1.) i felt like the need to try to get the reader to realize how her professional life was effected. i don't think i covered it enough, and i was praying that no one skimmed over that paragraph. so thank you.
2.)you can read pete's journal entries (at fueledbyramen.com) and realize he is over analytical. i think that's one of his character flaws, and i wanted to incorporate that into this story. so thanks for noticing again.
3.) GAH! i love you for this one. belle has undergone some serious character changes, and a lot of her old traits (the "whimsical" ones, if you will allow such terminology) have been "robbed" from her. man, so many DoJ hi5's for this one. i love you.
4.) Elise is doing it as a favor to Patrick. obviously, they have history. and seriously, how could anyone turn down patrick?
5.)the term "crack whore" always works. try it sometime. you'll be surprised by the power it emits.
6.) this was my attempt at showing patrick in a feminine sense...how much patrick feels for greta. he'd almost rather have a conversation with her than have sex. isn't that odd?
7.)that is a direct quote from my life.
8.)i think that was my attempt at showing her ability to actually get along with women, which is something she's never been able to do. she hangs out with men for the most part, and she's trying to break away from that.
9.) i love you. seriously. i want to show her as still afraid. even though she's turned into a bitch, she's more vulnerable now than she has ever been in her life. it's kind of like putting on a tough facade to hide how she really feels.
10.) DoJ sigh poor, poor peter. that's all i have to say about that.
you are fucking amazing. i love this review. i owe you some cheap wine and a t-shirt now. "FicWad Stole My Soul" or "I'm A Shitty Daughter/Girlfriend". you choose.