"Frank. Guess who bought you skittles!"
"Oh cool. Where are they?"
"I stuck them on my dick using cake frosting."
"Get out of my house."
Author's response
I WOKE UP MY HOUSE LAUGHING.
"Hey, Frank, wanna play a game?"
"Mm, yeah. What is it?"
"I've put half sugar, half salt on my dick. It's your job to lick it off and tell me which is which."
"Right, get out, and take Mikey with you."