Oh nah, who'd freak over a little song title? Not me, man, not me. This story is so charming, I love the little mysterious sections that cut out of the timeline — I'm always curious how they're gonna pan out in the end. Other than some puncuation problems, this is some solid work. And! who's ~him~? XD
(By the way, you sandwich the // with [ ]; so for example (without the wording):
[(then)/{text}/(and)]
Got it?)
I'll go read the next chapter momentarily. :)
-S
Author's response
Thank you for the feedback! And thanks for the help with the grammar. I shall fix it.
Hopefully you won't get fed up with the mysterious bits, its kind of the main themes in the story.
I'm updating tonight!