Nice chapter, I liked it. Just one part I was unhappy with, Mito's resurrection. The Edo Tensei calls back the person the way he, or in this case she, died. It's not possible to choose the body's age, otherwise characters like Chiyo, Hanzo, and later Sarutobi would have likely been summoned at a younger age, since even if the resurrected are no longer limited like living humans, there are still physical limits placed by their bodies that a younger body doesn't have to the same extent.
I kinda figured it would be Kabuto's summoning rather than time-travel for at least some of the Blast-from-the-past-characters, but in Mito's case I was clearly expecting that if she's called back, she'd have to go through a youthening-procedure much like Tsunade and Koharu. As a true Uzumaki, she'd be a seal-mistress surpassing Jiraiya by far, so she actually doesn't need a young body to serve Kabuto's purpose. Either way, the jutsu doesn't work that way, if it could alter the summon's age you could use it to make young summons older than they'd got to be in life. It seemed pretty clear that the summon appears the age he died, or, and this is a big IF, possibly the age he was when the DNA-sample used in the summoning was taken from them, which again wouldn't effect Mito. Personally I think the body's shape is actually decided by the summoned soul for greatest compatibility. The body is the age it died in because that's the body the soul remembers being in and can thus immediately fight in without having to get used to first.
I personally look forward to seeing many things in the future, from the bijuu finally joining Naruto's Harem over Gyuuki getting its/her own body and being with Killer Bee and Katsuyu's joining to Samui's. Though right now the most pressing issue is likely Anko.
I personally feel that both acted wrong, Anko should have talked with Naruto and eased him into it rather than throwing him in the deep end and see what happens, while Naruto's reaction, running away screaming, while understandable from a male point of view, may have been a little exaggerated. I personally think it was the dildo that scared Naruto the most, that's just not a thought most men are comfortable with. Rather than trying to ignore the issue and letting it fester for 14.5 chapters and counting, he should have sat her down and talk with her about it. The two need to discuss the whole thing and what went wrong, then try again under better circumstances. While Naruto will never become a true sub, I do believe that there are aspects of BDSM he could agree with, and to a point even enjoy, the problem was that Anko had no idea what she was doing, and has to actually learn and explain the rules to Naruto before a retry can happen. In real BDSM, it is the sub who decides how far the play goes, and Anko failed to realize that, or if she did, she didn't let Naruto know. It's not impossible Anko knew how BDSM worked, and perhaps even expected to have the BDSM-play with Naruto follow real rules, but if that is true, then her mistake was to think that Naruto knew as much about BDSM and its rules as she did, and expected him to be able to roll with her flow. Though truth be told I don't think she had any clue about how BDSM works in real life.
The simple truth is that in BDSM trust and rules are the most important things. Anko didn't give Naruto a safe-word, nor did she talk with him before to set limits, to clarify to what Naruto can agree and what is a absolute no. Because of this when suddenly confronted with something that went completely out of his comfort-zone, Naruto saw no way to deal with Anko, who seemed to have gone too deep in her dominatrix-role to be reasoned with, other than flee. What I personally believe is that when Anko studied BDSM, she limited her research to sex-acts that can be done in it, but failed to realize that there are many steps that have to be done before the play can start, especially in your first BDSM-session with a new partner, and even more so if it's your first time with BDSM period. So I think she and Naruto could in the future enjoy some BDSM together even with her as the dom, however it has to follow the rules of real BDSM and consist of trust, agreements and rules, not the comic-BDSM with the dom being the absolute ruler deciding everything and the sub taking it that Anko tried to implement.
You know, I found two flaws, though one's also a loophole, in your immortality. The first flaw is that your immortality is sexist. Assuming that one of the harem, lets say Tsunade, gives birth to twins, a boy and a girl, and they are immortal while Tsunade is not. Then the siblings fall in love (not with each other) and have children. The daughter will become mortal, but the son hasn't given birth, he's biologically incapable of it, so he keeps his immortality. In other words harem-members and their daughters can grow old and die, but Naruto's sons are immortal. So the world will still become overpopulated with the millenniums passing, only rather than a country of immortals we'll have a country of male immortals, not really an improvement. If anything we risk ageless hordes ravaging the lands hunting for more females to sate their urges, and nobody other than possibly the bijuu to even try to reign them in.
The second flaw, the loophole, is the process itself. If I understood this correctly, a woman needs two things to become... ageless, it's not really true immortality. First is Naruto's semen which activates the agelessness, and I suspect the other is the mate-mark, as I can't imagine Kyuubi being so careless as to let Naruto's sperm make ANYONE who can gather it immortal. And if the harem-member gives birth, she transfers her agelessness to her offspring, becoming a normally aging human again. That's how the process works, right? So what happens if a harem-member who gave birth has sex with Naruto again? She has the mate-mark, she now has the sperm, and Tsume Tsunami proved that being a mother doesn't prevent the agelessness from activating. Wouldn't this basically mean that even if the harem has children, as long as they regularly copulate with Naruto, they effectively keep their agelessness? I personally see the limit of immortality more as a problem for Naruto's offspring than Naruto himself. Unless the harem completely desensitizes to incest, which with the couples of Tsume&Hana, possibly Hinata&Hanabi and most likely Naruto/Kushina is actually not impossible, it will be the daughters of the harem who will face the choice between agelessness and motherhood, as they will likely not be able to just join Naruto's harem and get a recharge for their longevity.
Another potential loophole has come with Mito, who will soon join (should have joined this chapter, the preview listing chapter 44 as Guren, not Mito Part 2). Mito was close to the Senju-brothers and outlived both. She's an Uzumaki, and was raised as an Uzumaki. Chances are pretty good she knows the Edo Tensei, so even if a harem-member dies for whatever reason, she can be brought back and given real life. Since it doesn't kill the sacrifice another member of the harem would likely even volunteer to help bring her back. Since Kiyomi should be able to bring life on her own, this method could even be used to bring back Naruto should the worst happen.
On the topic of immortality, since it seems to spring up fairly often. What you gave the harem is not Absolute Immortality, as they can still fall to disease, poison or physical trauma, they're not like Hidan who keeps talking after being decapitated. What they have is agelessness, their bodies won't fall apart on them and they don't age. The technical term for this is Biological Immortality. Just to end the debate.
Well, I hope the next chapter(s) will be out soon, though I realize that writing such long and excellent chapters takes it's time. Either way, good luck with your writing.
Author's response
Thanks for the long review. I am forced to disagree with you about Mito not being able to be brought back younger. After all the true Madara died a whithered old man but was brought back not only at his prime, but with the abilities he had gained just before his death, i.e the Rinnegan. Although I didn't explain it like that in the chapter you could suppose that what he did with Mito was a test run of sorts.
Also, the immortality isn' lost by the woman giving birth. It is taken away by Kiyomi the one that granted the ability in the first place. While Naruto is the medium by which the ability to become immortal is granted, Kiyomi is the one that can determine whether it takes hold or not. It would be a gift that she denies should a person decide they wish to have a child.
I'll be honest in that I don't exactly view much of a difference between all the different types of immortality. By that I mean even Hidan despite being able to keep talking after being beheaded could be killed. He died a slow painful death of lack of nutrion, therefore basically there is not such thing as true immortality. Perhaps what the Bijuu had before hand could be considered true immortality as they would actually reform after death, but in Nel's case it wasn't without its side-effects
Your take on Anko and Naruto's relationship isn't wrong, but just because I haven't made it a major focus of the story up to now doesn't mean that they haven't discussed where things stand. Just that it isn't pertanant to the story at the moment. For instance one of the reasons I've written the Limelight chapters is to show that there are things going on in the background with characters that haven't been the primary focus of the story. Right now though both characters are in the midst of denying that there is anything truly wrong. Eventually things will come to a head though, but at the moment neither wants to be the one that gives the push to force the issue.