I like the direction you've taken with the coven witches in that they are choosing their reality such that it is. I have paused a few times on the cut and paste in the first two or three chapters (they repeat in the middle).
The other pause is the s&m and slurs for lgbt groups. If the pain, dominance and consent based violence was explained I'm pretty sure it can be understood; however, it seems like men are being emasculated for force and Chang lives without similar physical damage after brutalizing Luna because she is a what? A woman? A female bully or predator?
The last names for lgbt males is one sided. Most are slurs in English speaking countries. Maybe it adds spice to bashing in some circles; however lesbian acts for male gratification. Is a okay? Either it is both worthy of objection or it is both acceptable. It is not poofter this, f word that, or any other diatribe against men while there rampant lady bits in action with and without underage kids in the midst. There is no high rode to the behavior in this tale just hypocrisy.