Ok I both hated and loved this chapter.
I hated this chapter because I’ve spent the entire time since the last chapter mentally preparing myself for the tifa and kiba moments that I was dreading like the plague.
The minute tifa popped up I was already assuming kiba would be appearing shortly afterwards and was getting read y to start skipping over their moments together while simultaneously praying that I didn’t miss any important plot developments because I skipped those scenes.
Then you had her think about naruto and I got all excited, but when you mentioned aeris had a heart to heart with naruto I got sad again thinking she too was just looking for forgiveness so that she could move on to her (eventual) life with kiba.
I loved this chapter because you then proceeded to completely destroy that idea with what happened between her and naruto when they met.
Damn! That was like my birthday and Christmas rolled into one. Thank you, seriously you have no idea how awesome that was. The grin on my face probably would’ve freaked someone out if they saw it.
I was willing to struggle through the moments between tifa and kiba because this story’s quality is too damn high to give it up over something as insignificant as a pairing decision that wouldn’t even been seen often but damn I still fucking hated it!
Tifa being with naruto literally just made my day, also correct me if I wrong because there are a crapload of girls in the harem and I sometimes lose track but excluding biju isn’t tifa the first (oc that’s not an actual oc) to be paired with naruto?
I’m trying to think back to all the other girls but I’m definitely thinking that she is. I’m hoping because she’s living with him and not somewhere far off like kumo that you develop her character the way you’ve done with many of the other konoha harem members.
Now I’ve gushed enough on that, so lets move on. Edo tensei…..I actually completely forgot about that and kabuto so that threw me off quite a bit. I’m really looking forward to where you plan to take this whole suna situation.
Again I read a review that said he…or she missed your lighthearted chapters but again that reviewer is completely missing the point.
You’re attempting to create a story that is well balanced and meaningful to your readers, you never intended for it to be a comedy so lightheartedness is not always going to be on the menu.
Just like I did the last time that issue was raised I’ll point again to the fact that one piece is all about fun and the power of friendship yet it dealt with both death, the pain of loss, and slavery. Hell the naruto series characters have been fighting in a war.
No one ever complains about those moments in their favorite manga but when it happens in fanfiction people get upset.
Sometimes darker chapters are needed to maintain a sense of realism and progression to the story, otherwise this would just be one big slice of life type story.
Those types of stories definitely aren't bad, but it also isn't what most of us are after when it comes to eroninja.
I also doubt this story could’ve made it this far if every chapter was just naruto gaining and fucking new women with no real plot development.
Personally I think you’ve found the right balance between lighthearted and dark moments.
Anyway i wasnt really calling that person out because it wasnt really anything serious, i was just pointing out that bastard characters and fucked up moments are sometimes needed.
I don’t know how old you are sage but I’m in my twenty’s.
Throughout elementary and middle school they had something called ar tests if I remember correctly where you basically read books and then took tests on them to receive points.
It was pretty much a mandatory method the school used to force us to read to show everyone that we we'rent illiterate so that they could get more funding.
Because I always found reading longer stories easy for me I was always getting large books to get all my points at one time as opposed to others who would read dozens of smaller books to reach the amount of points they needed.
I would read that one book and then be lazy for weeks while everyone else struggled to catch up.
Also, over the past 3 or so years I’ve also read A LOT of fanficiton.
Because of those two things, I’ve read a lot of stories that are long, and a lot of stories that are well written.
That’s why it is CRAZY to me that despite all of the stories I’ve read throughout my life, a story that is primarily porn (although with an actual plot this well-developed I’m finding it harder and harder to categorize this as “just porn”)
Is about to take the top spot as the longest story I've ever read that is actually well written.
You’re almost to one million words and you haven’t even put a dent in the remaining chapters for part one of this story.
To put this into perspective a bit, the ENTIRE harry potter series which is probably the longest story a large majority of the people of the world have read only adds up to about 1,084,170 words and it took jk rowling forever to churn that shit out.
I’m damn sure you’re going to pass that relatively soon.
I don’t know what possessed you to begin writing this story and honestly I hope you can tell me because the sheer dedication you've had to writing something this large that is actually good is insane.
I really do want to say more but this is already getting somewhat long and if you haven't noticed by now i'm pretty long winded with my reviews and very rarely even get to all the things I liked about a specific chapter
(I barely even talked about this specific chapter which was my intention when I started writing but oh well)
I’ll stop here anyway.
I fucking love Eroninja, keep up the good work and congrats on getting back on ff!