Review for Harry Potter and the MAU

Harry Potter and the MAU

(#) gandalftg 2014-01-25

I'm glad you liked Worthless. I enjoy writing it, but got stuck on it a while back, and haven't figured out how to make it go forward.

As a fan of the MAU stories myself (wouldn't have written Worthless otherwise) I would like to suggest that you slow this down a lot. Part of the point of the MAU stories is in showing the character figuring out how to operate the device and learning about how it operates. Harry just magically knows how to operate it.

I would also suggest that you review some of J.R. Parz's works and descriptions of the device. What you describe here, and the actual descriptions of the device are very different.

And for the record, there are several things that the MAU can't/won't do. The list basically boils down to two items.
1: The MAU will not cause harm (as defined by the mind of the user).
2: The MAU can not create life.

The MAU is part detective story, part genie story. Skip neither! :)

Otherwise, I think this shows promise, just slow down, and don't skip over the fun parts, like Harry figuring out what it does, and how he figures out what it's called.