I think it was a great interpretation of what Inuyasha might be feeling internally during the times he forces Kagome away. I mean anyone who has watched the show can see he has deep feelings for her no matter how much he tries to suppress them or runs to kikyo when she pops up. It will always be kagome who holds his heart in the end.
I think you would have made a better ending than The Final Act. I didn't didn't care for that arc too much at all. I rather it was never made.