FicWad

I must thank you for responding. You have truly made my morning, as despite what you say. I know that you've taken everything I wrote to heart because you just can't help coming back for more. And what do we have but more personal name-calling and all caps screaming. By the way I imagine you screaming at your computer as you type out your barely thought-out rant. Perhaps next time you can inform me it that is true.

Now I had considered going to your stories to leave my own review. However, I felt that would be egging on a little internet troll, who surprise, surprise, doesn't need all that much prompting to spew his sad little venom. But since I know you can't help but come here to read my responses, allow me the pleasure of posting a review here.

Born with Lust is a story I would not bother with in most cases, but I made time for it just for you, as it turns Kushina into the town Bicycle with no explanation. Not to mention, supposedly the entire village still hates her son, but she doesn't mind being fucked by the very people who despise him, who you wrote was "life for her." Also, the whole putting where the scene takes place or the time period it is happening in above what you write, is just you being lazy. Would it kill you to maybe write a sentence or two that explains where the person was? I mean taking the first scene with Kushina for example. Rather than writing:

"Namikaze House
Naruto was sitting in hall. He was very sad like someone took his favourite toy from him. Kushina saw this and went to ask about his worries"

You could have written: "Naruto was sitting in the hall of the Namikaze household looking as if his favorite toy had been taken from him. Kushina upon seeing this, went to ask him what was making him so glum."

Do you see what I did there? I established the setting inside the story. But honestly calling what you've written a story is rather a stretch. It is a synopsis that explains little and is there just so you can get to your lemon, there is no build up or anything. I mean, despite his still being despised, the timid Hinata iswilling to date Naruto, and not only that, breaks-up with him. Where's the explanation for any of that, why would the timid Hinata be willing to show her feelings for Naruto when he is the most hated person in the village. Not to mention, he kind of proves her right that he only thinks of sex, when how does he respond to this development of her breaking up with him? By sleeping with his mom, who again, is the town bicycle.

Now even if the writing wasn't poor, and the scenario uninspired. Which you very classily admit to coming up with while watching porn in your college's computer lab. By the way, I really hope you cleaned up after yourself when you finished. I'm also curious as to how much of that video would we see in the lemon between Naruto and Kushina. Kind of a silly thing to admit considering just how much of an offense you took from a few of my lemons being inspired by movies and the like that I had watched. But getting back on point, at the very end of the chapter it ends in the predictable setting of Minato finding out. I mean seriously, we don't even know how old Naruto is here, but from his still playing with toys I'm guessing he's probably still in the academy or something. But let's just say, he's 13 like at the start of the series. Do you realize how stupid this ending is based on the simple fact that Kushina has been sleeping with his shinobi for 13 years without Minato being any the wiser, who as you point out could literally appear at home any moment. Wouldn't she have some means to keep track of him or to prevent such a thing from occurring? Did he just realize for the first time after 13 years that he could teleport home.

So in conclusion, Born with Lust is not a story. It is a weak synopsis that leads into a lemon. There's no build up, explanation of how the characters find themselves in their current situations, and more importantly no reason to care for them. Naruto, only does think of sex because that is how you portrayed him. Kushina is an unfaithful wife, whose been cheating on her husband simply because it made it easier for you to pair her with her son, and Minato is just the poor sap that you decided to keep around so he could be pushed around by his son, which is how I imagine the next chapter would have gone, if you actually intended to finish it that is. But seeing as it has been over a year, I'm guessing that isn't the case or you are the slowest person at typing in the world, as I wrote this out in about ten minutes.

In the end, instead of wasting your time being the little tough guy who can threaten others while hiding behind the veil of the internet. Perhaps, you should actually apply yourself to fleshing out your story, as I have to disagree with the idea that it has received enough attention, especially from you, the supposed author of the barely coherent and utterly pointless travesty. Your story, is everything wrong with Lemon fictions in general, facts and characters are changed just to fit whatever situation you feel like writing at the moment so you can get to the lemon as quickly as possible.

Now this review is about half as long as your entire "story". Therefore, I think it is safe to say that I have probably put more thought into it then you did into your work, which is extremely sad since you claimed to have reposted it as the first one didn't live up to your extremely high expectations. I look forward to the next time you get a little time in the computer lab and respond to me after watching some porn, and then rage typing your brilliant rejoinders. Please just remember to clean up after yourself, its a common courtesy that you could pay to the person that follows you.