(#) BJH 2015-02-03
Four years, eh? Is that enough time for Harry to get a job in a bowling alley? It's almost enough time for him to get married and have a magical child, depending on how you want to take this.
I'm really enjoying the story but if I could offer a bit of criticism? The large number of basic grammar errors really distracts from the reader's enjoyment. There was even a "their/there" error in a sentence where you got it right just three words earlier. A couple of "to/too" mistakes as well.
BJH
Author's response
$ year but he didn't get just a job. His new memories had Pints and Pins be "his families" business. I agree, in that time he could have met someone and had a family. So what is stopping him?
Sorry about the grammar errors, I do not have a beta reader to do proofing for me. I usually read it through 3-4 times before posting so if there are errors it is a good bet I'd never see them regardless the number of times I read each chapter. ~EJ