Very interesting interaction between characters. Only two things came off oddly and a little jarring for the pace and tone of the story. One was having Dark use the phrase "The guest of the parental pair" which threw me -- what was Dark's underlying meaning with that phrase? and second was having Dark blush when verbally challenged. "Looked away" or "lowered his eyes" or some such would, in my opinion, been more in keeping with the kind of character you were trying to portray. The character study between the two of them (both in this story and in your earlier "Lost in Translation" work)is fascinating. Please keep writing. I look forward to seeing how you develop the characters' relationships in the future.