(#) ravendark 2016-08-29

well i like the story it is humorous but my suggestion is you seem to use murder with out turning it to a better suited word(including plural) like murders genocide holocaust massacre or even butchery other than that the childishness is kept low key despite hermione being a child and regressing harry's mental age that and the general lack of reactions its like all of his actions are acceptable acceptable as in the only reaction that has come from his actions that are negative was the death eaters but his actions outside of that have no obstacles and and even the actions of the death eaters only came out as a way to punish more death eaters which again leads to what he wants i mean to some points the time travel replaced a metaphorical bike with a motor cycle but the method used and the amount of effort makes Dumbledore's and riddle's power base seam to be a house of cards in a tornado or like side quest bosses on a easy game to a master gamer the amount of power is also inconsistent to the power he had in the original timeline as the method of control was only a tracking charm as if having a tracking anklet on a being means that they have to fallow the orders of the one who owns the tracking device and that he can't use his own seaming thousand years to undo what albus did in his century and a half