Hello, I just found this site, and this story is the first I found that looked interesting enough to look at. Overall I liked this story.
I felt that both Sakura and Kakashi were "in character" ~ I especially liked his surprised reaction, it seemed so right.
Good use of grammar, didn't notice any mistakes. Punctuation seemed good, the quotation marks were on the correct side of the comma or period, (that is a HUGE pet peeve of mine) and your spelling was good too.
The only thing that I thought might be improved upon a with this piece is to draw out the emotions a little bit more. Like to show what Sakura is feeling a little more. (I am trying to be constructive here, it is honestly NOT necessary, this fic is really good as it is.)