I don't recall Captain Sparrow ever calling her "Lizzie."
"and the odd dagger tossed up in a fit of boredom."
I seem to remember Fox Mulder spearing the cieling with sharpened pencils. Another dark hero figure who'd been left out in the sun -- or radiation of some kind -- far too long.
Periods and commas go before the quotes.
Heh heh! Great diction and nice use of running gag with "not a eunuch." It does get a bit repetitive around the last third or so.