Your formatting needs some work. Since ficwad has a tendency to eat tabs, I recommend adding an extra carriage return between paragraphs. That would make this much easier to read.
Numbers that take two words or fewer to say are best written out.
Otomogule. Thank heaven for dictionary.com ...but it's not in there. Unlike the other Arthurisms, I can't tell what this one's supposed to mean.
How can he have a tongue in each hand?
This would be funnier if the description of the object and its functions were a little clearer.