I love the way Auron won't wait to hear anything else once Lulu's presence in the cavern is confirmed and the small detail of the rocks pattering down fromthe cliff as the detonation of Lulu's magic.
I like the way you describe the source of the greenish light in the caverns and the strange rock formations.
I really enjoy your descriptions of the battles with the fiends. You are very poetic in your writing of these battles. I like the comments that pass between Lulu and Auron, short and witty.
I love the metaphor about the pyreflies and the burning sparks. I really enjoy the way Lulu needs to quench her fires every now and again so Auron's feet don't catch fire. That's lovely.
Nitpicking:
"Laying his sword across his knees, Auron slipped a arm around her and waited stoically, gazing into the darkness." "a arm" should be "an arm."
Author's response
proof that I really do get around to fixes sooner or later! going through, checking reviews, fixing typos and pondering deeper questions my readers have raised for me