This is actually really good, its unexpectedly sad at the end when emotion comes through the otherwise clipped dialogue. But my personal favourite part of it was Voldemort's shock at having killed him so easily. I can imagine his expression so clearly.
Author's response
I wrote it clipped for a few reasons, one I'm lazy and two because when in a rush, as Luna was supposed to be in, one doesn't usually pull all thoughts to their fullest.