Review for Perfect Blood

Perfect Blood

(#) Ithilwen 2006-04-20

You have a lot of unnecessary commas in here. A lot of minor tense problems. A good grammar beta could clean this up a bit, but it's nothing dealbreaking.

You overuse the word "individual" as Myouga describes Yash's blood.

A "youkai" is a demon. A demon's aura is "youki."

Kagome "flaunts," not "vaunts."

"Baths, showers, mint;"

!! Have him use one of the skin remedies that he'd found for Kagome!

"It was obviously gremlins."

(snork)