It's good so far. Maybe just try to develop the characters a bit more, and put slightly more detail into your descriptions. I do a lot of descriptive writing in my story 'I don't think your my drug' and authors like 'FrostedGlass', 'Moocow' 'Whatkaydid' and 'Prettypoizon' could give you tips. (FrostedGlass - Alex, is amazing at funny stuff, and Moocow - Evie is great at drama) Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. It's a good plot so far, And I'm excited for the next chapter.
If you need any help, ask any one of us. We'll be happy to help.
Welcome to the ficwadian family!
[The FOB section is the best by the way]
From - Izzy x
Author's response
I'll think of that when i am writing the next chapter. (which i think iam going to publish tonight)