I understand where you are coming from. But you of all people should realise that it's best not to relive the past. Never forget it, but strive to overcome it and ensure that such a thing doesn't happen again. I would have liked for you to put this story differently on Harry overcoming his demons and representing a ray of hope for all others who have suffered as him.
At least you should try for another paragraph where Dumbledore is taken to task for his oversight by McGonagall and Remus
Author's response
I have seen many stoories of the kind you want. Unfortunately, it frequently goes the other way way. I am considering adding a page where McGonagall tell's Dumblsexactly what kind of fool he really is. Alorkin