haha yeah it was a bit amateurish but you wrote it a long time ago. There was one part where it said that his classmate went down then all the sudden he was down which made it a little confusing. But I shouldn't be talking too much about amateurish stories. I looked at Caped, which you reviewed, and man it needed alot of editing.
Author's response
Thanks. I don't have the heart to revise it anymore and just keep it around for a reminder on "what not to do." :)
Besides, its amateurish quality made it great MSTing fodder for me and my friends. Hope you checked that link out as well.