(#) koppe 2007-02-05
I must admit I didn't like the first chapter(s?) of this story much -- I thought it was a bit confusing... there was sex, but I thought that could've been written better. Since then though, the story has picked-up grately, and now I'm really enjoying it.
My only complain, is that the accents during direct-speech are over-done. Yes, people may actually speak that way, but it gets a bit tidious to have to deciffer words all the time... a middle-ground would've been preferble (still "military", but more understandable).
I'm really looking forward to Harry finding out he's bounded... to him understanding the "dreams" were real -- and discovering he's going to be a father.
I also hope Bellatrix get away, and that Harry manages to take care of her somehow. I also hope that Bella explains to Marietta how Harry didn't know he'd been shagging her (Bella) and was having a baby; and that the three of them somehow manage to make a stable relationship.
I would of course love if Marietta also ended-up pregnant before long.
Finally, I'm very much looking forward to Harry explaining to Moody, Dumbledore and his friends; how he managed to knock-up Bellatrix.
Keep up the good work.
Author's response
Thank you for reading and writing a very specific review, I appreciate the effort, and the fact that you kept reading the story even if you didn’t particularly care for it at first. I have actually gone back through and reformatted each chapter and made a concerted effort to tone down the accents. If you ever go to Edinburgh be sure to pack a "Scottish/English" dictionary. Of course, the same can be said about parts of Louisiana (here you’ll need the "How to Speak Cajun" dictionary)