This was a very well written story, one that kept my attention and brought me along with it. I almost think the pacing was a bit too fast - it could have been a bit longer. But for a first fic, it definitely was a winner! I would love to see more stories from you!
Author's response
Thanks for the suggestions! I can get really long-winded sometimes, so I kept it short. But it's nice to know that I could go longer without worry. What aspects, in your opinion, would you have liked to see extended? Or was it just the length of the story in general (add more sub-plot)?