It's cute i like it.. there are however a few verbal confusions.. and repeatative words.. for example... " He pulled her into his lap so that his arms were wrapped around her upper-body but she was looking up at him from his lap" the word lap seems a bit overused there were a few others in this general area.. i have the same problem at times, being that at moments it can be hard to convey an image in your head to paper and form it in a way that the reader can actually understand.
Author's response
thats exactly it; i had SO much trouble describing that and other scenes. i must have retyped that sentance like 50 times! AAAHHH!! oh well, at least most people seemed to have gotten the gist of what i was describing...