"Don't worry about the kids. They'll be fine...I read this story where Benj had two kids and stated a relationship with me and then...You might think it's creepy that I read some gay sex story about me and Benj, but you know what...I have no excuse..."===> that part was hilarious! i also liked benji's purple tux.
some spelling mistakes... very minor, really. but great story. i liked it. some parts were a teensy bit confusing, but i thought it was pretty original. it's a good story and it was prettu well-written.
question... is the story done, or are you adding more? if it's done, an epilogue might be a good idea... just my thought=)