Ok... let the record show that you are back on your "A Game!"
I was mesmerized and drawn in throughout the entire chapter. The mystery of what is happening is a pleasant surprise. Your characterizations of all of the characters seems spot on and really make me believe they are real people!
For today's constructive criticism: um... er... oh forget it! It was great. Write more!
Author's response
Okay, but first I'm going to squeal like an excited school girl. If you'll excuse me... EEEEEEEEEEE!
I love it that I'm sucking people into my little world!