In all honesty I can't tell you if I like your story or not. It's still to early to tell and it's a bit weird, I've never read anything like this before.
I do like the way you wrote it though and it's got a good pace which is important in your story, because otherwise I wouldn't understand anything.
Still I'm looking forward to the next chapter and I hope it clears up a few things.
:-)
Author's response
ok, it's fine. Just didn't want to be writing this and no one liking it. I hope that everything is timed right and going well.