Ooooo..... Wow! What fun! I would critique, but cannot find anything to improve. So I'll just sit back and really enjoy the ride!
Author's response
Man, it is sooo hard to write a good action scene without making it sound overly repetative/descriptive/drawn out/cut off... I could go on.
My best aid in this area: "Sarin: Kata Tsubasa no Tenshi" (The Advent Children rework of 'One Winged Angel' from Final Fantasy 7.) If you've read my profile you already know my vices. ;)