Well that sucks! I want to know what happens next! I really hope that you are working hard on the next …chapter or book ficlet whatever you call it. I enjoyed your story for the most part except your use of wards is very skewed, as well you hacked what a werewolf is. It is very clear in the books that Muggles can become werewolves. It is also very clear that wards prevent physical passage hence the name “ward”
You used Muggle devises to make wizards seem stupid and make Harry seem cleverer when it would have been better to have Harry know how to use blood Runes like his teacher had to bypass the wards at number 4 or some other method of curse breaking.
Also, you had Harry at Hogwarts to supposedly take his OWL Tests yet he never even took them that may be a small point but it is a little annoying.
I like how Ginny seems to be getting in over her head, not that Harry seems evil, but its like she is a bit innocent. Which I like she seems to be following Harry for his good looks and blind trust normally in fan fiction she is all that and more which I hate, this you could actually form a relationship between the two and it could almost seem natural.
I also like that Sirius Black seems ready to enter the picture. Your character of the cable or whatever could use some fleshing out. We get that they are there but is seems Harry barely knows them. As it is we the readers really know nothing about them, it is kinda disappointing.
One last thing, why is it Tonks is always the one who is raped? It wasn’t so bad in this story because she was unconscious, but I swear it is always Tonks. Hell even in your other dark Harry fic its Tonks who is raped. Why? What did poor Tonks do to anyone? It is hardly ever Ginny or Hermione, unless Harry is attracted to them as more than a friend.
Still I am glad Tonks rape scene was not more graphic I don’t like that.
Author's response
Well, the functions of Hogwarts' wards were never really revealed in the books and, unless I remember wrong, Sirius was able to just walk into Hogwarts through the same hidden passageway that Daniel used. What comes to St. Mungos' wards and defensive spell, books tell nearly nothing about them and so I simply created my own. And as I didn't want to overuse runic magic, I made Harry use muggle methods to overcome them. Personally I think it was quite plausible.
You seem to have messed the timeline... It's over a half year to OWL exams.
About Tonks, well, it's sort of occupational hazard for her. She's the only female Auror we know and thus it's no wonder that she's the one who gets raped.
The Cabal is kept mysterious for a reason. Eventually the shroud of mystery will be lifted, but as for now, there is no need for readers to know. And of course they could use some fleshing out, they have had hardly any screen time as it is. Hell, you haven even seen all Cabal members...
The sequel is on it's way. Three first chapters are already being betaed...
Anyway, thanks for reading!