The first thing that I have to say is that I am not impressed. The second thing I have to say is that not being impressed at least means that you didn't impress me with how terrible you are, which is rare for amateur poetry. You could use work on some things, such maybe being a little more exiting and not repeating the use of the same word over and over and over but otherwise ok.
Author's response
Well, all I can say is that I'm working on it. That poem was not the best I have ever written, and I might publish some others. This poem did get an A in english, but the A was mostly for content. If I post some other poems, it would great if you could give me more feedback so that I know how to improve my writing style. Thanks!
alloreli