(#) JBern 2007-02-25
Very nice and enthralling story. I look forward to its continuation. Teaching alongside both his parents? Should provide ample opportunities for entertainment.
Not sure where you are headed with the open antagonism for Snape. Harry should be more cautious and try to use Snape to his own benefit. Hell, he could use Snape and his father's natural hatred for each other to his benefit.
One plot hole I must ask you to consider is the Marauder's Map? How do you plan to work around it. I would certainly think that James would have it at his disposal or have recreated it especially in light of the 2nd year and Diggory's death. (I would have changed it to Krum. It just strikes me that Krum would have won if he hadn't been Imperiused - it would have been vengance at Igor for betraying him by taking is prize student. Something to consider...)
With the death of his father, I wonder if Draco has the mission to kill Dumbledore? Probably not. I also doubt that Snape was coerced into performing the unbreakable vow.
I'll be interested in seeing where you take this story. It will be curious to see where you take say Hermione's development without Harry's influence on her life.
Good luck.
Jim
Author's response
Thanks for the kind and thoughtful comments. You've given me a bit to think about, especially with the Marauder's Map. I'm imagining that it was confiscated years ago as in canon and wound up with the twins. I may consider what they do with it if something fun strikes me. As for recreating it... hmm, maybe it wasn't feasible without Sirius or perhaps even Peter, we'll see.
Now as to Krum vs. Diggory, the ritual used in canon required the blood of an enemy and to me Krum is still too much of a question mark for that role. Cedric, the perfect Hufflepuff, I can see as an enemy of Voldemort's. Not as powerful a position as a living Harry would have been but maybe the best available.
Draco still has his two missions and Snape his vow, and they will become important in a few chapters. And speaking of Snape, I doubt Harry will be able to overcome his hatred of the git to think about using him for anything but kindling. As shadowy as Harry is, in this story at least he is not nearly as Slytherin/manipulative as he would have to be to do that. He is still, at heart, an actions speak louder than words Gryffindor.
Remeber, at this point Harry's goal is to free Sirius and nothing else. He has just given himself another task with Luna, but he still feels that the world will destroy Voldemort in a few years with or without him so why get involved?
Thanks again for reading and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story.
BJH