I'd have to agree that this was only adequate, but it did show good promise. I think my main complaint is that the imagery and words used here are a bit plain and rather than being moving, seemed to just be.
On the positive side, though, your attention to the structure of the free-verse, a coherent thought and theme, and good spelling made this look competent and better than some of the other stuff here in Ficwad. Keep writing!
Author's response
Well, this WAS an english project. I needed to make sure I included all the necessary parts, which meant I wasn't concentrating as much on the words used then what I was saying. I really prefer to write free-verse. You'll notice that I don't have any sonnets or that kind of stuff on here.