1) It's definitely better!
2) Why was Brendon put in prison? He was 'held hostage' he didn't do it on his own!
3) You have a serious issue with killing characters, and you need "HELP"!!!
4) Just thought I'd say all that. And well anyway I'll be looking for you're updates kay so bye now!
Author's response
Why, thank you! Brendon was put in prison 'cause the police did not beleive him, and neither did the jury. Damn, paid-off corrupt jury...and yes, I do need help. But if I got it, you wouldn't get any of these wonderful stories, so yeah. Thanks for the review!