Like your other reviewer, I would like to see more of Snape's reaction to these revelations.
I think this:
If any of us hear that anything like this happen, we will know who did it.
Should be:
If any of us hear of anything like this happening, we will know who did it.
It's not corny at all, the premise is a good one. I particularly liked:
"Professor Potter," he said, his tone dripping with sarcastic patronization.
Should the spirit move you to do something else along these lines, go for it, it works.
Author's response
Thank you! I'm actually changing it to
"If any of us hear that anything like this happens, we will know who did it."
I'm salving my ego by saying I just forgot the 's' rather than making a major grammatical error.
I have no idea where that line came from. again, I could give my ego another boost and say it is merely my genius, but I was more than half--asleep as I wrote that part, so I really don't remember.
Thank you for the review!