Sorry to say so, but I think this story is one or even the worst that I've read of yours. Normally I'm a fan of your writing, but this one I can't stand. Your Ron and Hermione are just ... bah ... I don't know. The seem to be so ... wrong together. The first chapter is not working for them. Ron seems just to be too OOC.
If you've written this one in 2003 as I asume, I have to tell you that it is eye-catching. You've improved since than a lot.
Greetings