(#) facia 2007-04-02
Um...very poetic, but I think you took that too far. The dialogue is hugely overwrought and unrealistic, and the whole demon/angel thing was kind of pretentious. You set up a very good scene, nice contrasts and plenty of poetic language, but it's so melodramatic and almost impossible to follow (and while I could mostly follow it...that was mainly the bits that were cliche enough I'd seen them before).