(#) facia 2007-04-03
Very good, and I love the way you handle both pokemon, and the way you do dialogue interactions with the humans. (Plus, a non-friendly-Dumbledore headmaster!) Although, I wish you'd explained why all the kids hate what she did. The whole sequence of events, Tyler being arrogant, his pokemon being too hard to control, Tina then going to the headmaster, it turning out they'd covered it up, made perfect sense. And the rumors afterward, and Tina's friend betraying her, and the rest of the class shunning and then actively causing her problems, all of that was perfect too. The only bit I don't get is the middle bit connecting the two. If Tyler cheated and got a special pokemon when everyone else had to get a normal one...why would everyone support Tyler rather than feel he got his comeuppance? From the first chapter, I got the impression the other kids were kind of mad, and if a dark type really is a loose canon on top of that...