Review for Family Issue

Family Issue

(#) Geovanni_Luciano 2007-04-04

OK, look, you've got a good bit going on and I really like your story. What it IS missing is clearly Hermione and Ron. I don't know if you're being hesitant about it or you don't like the characters, and if the latter, then fine. If you don't like them change them and play on it but they need to be used in a Harry Potter story, even as a side now. HELL, you could get an extra 10 to 20K in words if you were to edit the whole thing and add their perspective into it. The bottom line is that they're canon and round the story out to be more than one dimensional. Right now you are so focused on Harry, Bella and Marietta that it's starting to lose its luster. I'm still going to read the story and do enjoy it, however without the other aspects of the Harry Potter universe, I'm afraid that I'm starting to get bored. You've already got the Horcruxes destroyed and about to go into battle and we don't even have a perspective of what is going on with the other important characters like Remus, Tonks, Hermione, Ron, Luna, Neville, Ginny, not to mention the DA members that were really beginning to start to have a synergy with the story.

Geovanni Luciano

Author's response

Thank you, as always, for reading and reviewing. I do have the school chums arriving on the occasion of Bill and Fleur's wedding, lots of juicy story bits there, don't want to say too much more.