(#) Renay 2006-06-05
Since this was the continuation of the previous part, I'll put this here: I'm not sure why you're splitting up oarts that are less than 5000 words. It's a little distracting to me, and takes me out of the action. Shorter and split up might entice more people to give something a shot, but I think the section is losing more than it's gaining? I'm not sure how to say it.
Otherwise, it was good. Lulu's calm rationally came across well here. Kimahri again, felt real to me, and he's a hard character to get across. I think I found the scene with he and Wakka to be the most touching, even when Wakka gives misplaced comfort, Kimahri understands what he means and doesn't fault him. Again with the greatness that is Lulu being critcal of Chappu's technique. Nice nod to reality there. Great stuff.