(#) facia 2007-04-10
Well, your dialogue seems a little stiff (with everybody making grand declarations about Team Magma being evil and brainwashing, and the repeated "Don't you understand you're totally wrong (Insert vague comments about why vaguely it might be that what he's doing won't work because maybe it won't possibly) Why don't you agree to this obvious truth!" is kind of wearying. I'm a little confused about why nobody made him give up the weatherite if he was threatened and agreed, anyway...
...well, I'm intrigued but wish I had a clearer idea of where you're going with. You've got ideologues running about but they don't seem too convincing and their version of events seems so uncertain and scattered for people who are totally certain the other side is wrong. I'm not sure if you mean for him to be right and the other guys to be wrong (which would make them total strawmen) or if you're hinting he's wrong (which has even more problems because they totally don't come off like that). I think I'd also like a clearer idea on what everyone's views are about Kyogre and constant rain...demonizing Team Magma alone or as part of a group, or does the average guy on the street kind of support them now that Kyogre's causing all this damage? (And if not, why? They're trying to do something about Kyogre and it seems like the average person would be for that) And what is everyone else trying to do to deal with Kyogre themselves? Is Team Aqua's stance in line with the general government or what?