While this story is certainly original, your jumping back and forth along the timeline makes it very hard to comprehend. It starts sometime in the future, then you are back at Privet Drive with people taking him to Grimmauld Place which Harry escapes from. But when the next part was Harry at Privet Drive with his minders watching him I really lost track of everything. Clearing some of that up a bit or at least adding dates might help the reader to follow you.